Stairway to Heaven

Here in Korea it's 'Chuseok' again; that chaotic time of year when families everywhere criss-cross the peninsular to visit the husband's parents the wife's parents, the grand parents and the shrines of their parents to leave ritual offerings and say prayers for their ancestors through time immemorial.

This year the autumn equinox harvest festival is a little unusual; stretching over a full 10 days and set to the distant rhythm of war drums beating across the Pacific. The holiday begins innocently enough by exchanging boxes of spam, extra virgin olive oil, or possibly war survival kits, if you subscribe to the ominous portents of the conservative media. 

War survival kits, now a popular alternative to traditional spam or olive oil at Chuseok

http://www.koreaherald.com/view.php?ud=20170925000797&ACE_SEARCH=1

Rapidly the vacation becomes fraught as record numbers jostle elbow-to-elbow through airports, tailgate for tedious hours along the highways and pack the trains to capacity. 

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For some the pressure is too much, with divorces in the weeks before and after Chuseok rising to twice the daily average.

http://m.koreatimes.co.kr/phone/news/view.jsp?req_newsidx=237244

In the western world the concept of god or divinity has undergone some major revisions over the centuries, much like we now roll out new software updates for our computers. The first humans probably huddled around camp fires, nervously asking each other how to prepare for the hereafter, desperately hoping that the answer wouldn't be more nerve-racking than preparing for a first mammoth hunt or perhaps even worse, a first date. 

Seemingly the first holy men recognised an opportunity to improve their social status and quickly launched to market Divinity 1.0, based on visible, mortal, tangible god-kings like the pharaohs of ancient Egypt. The pharaohs evidently believed the afterlife to be rather empty and ill-furnished; they therefore spent a lifetime arranging to store plenty of food, luxuries and concubines to take with them when they passed over. Meanwhile the peasants could only take the rags they stood up in. All in all, this was not a very equitable belief system for the great unwashed.

Egyptian Pharaohs - leaving no creature comfort behind in their journey to the Afterlife 

The next roll-out, Divinity 2.0, featured a whole host of new, improved, more ethereal gods; this time invisible and immortal, with dominion over each aspect of earthly life. Greek, Roman and Norse priests gave us a god for everything from love to harvests and from war to volcanoes. 

Greek gods; one available for every occasion, all sacrifices gratefully received

As before, each god required devotion and sacrifices in return for delivery from evil. It all sounded wonderful but as the centuries ticked by we slowly realised that protection from war, famine, pestilence, etc could not be bought with any amount of prayer or sacrifice.

The wisest holy men foresaw their high social status being utterly ruined by unsatisfied customers and so, analysing the flaws in their model, they rushed out Divinity 3.0 even before Divinity 2.0 was abandoned. This time just one single Great Omnipotent Deity requiring devotion and sacrifice. Cleverly, our devotion this time would not earn us tangible rewards in this lifetime but virtual rewards in the next life - which we would need to take on faith, of course. Finally a bullet-proof deity concept which could survive the most intense customer scrutiny !  

Local variations of Divinity 3.0 were rolled out around the Mediterranean in quick succession including Judaism, Christianity and Islam - although in some parts of the world the latter is still arguably considered even less user friendly than Windows Vista ever was.

Meanwhile Korea was surviving happily on a simple diet of shamanism, or the worship of nature spirits, until Buddhism was introduced in the late 4th century. Since Buddhist and shamanistic teachings were not contradictory and since Buddhism tended more towards philosophy than deity worship, Koreans found it possible to integrate the two and follow both doctrines together. 

The spirits of the trees, mountains and animals are highly revered in shamanism

Korean Buddhism largely went unchallenged for a full millennium until the late 14th century when neo-Confucians supported a military coup, winning themselves the opportunity to try to displace Buddhist mysticism with a traditional and deeply hierarchical Confucian rationalism which included ancestor worship.  Therefore the modern Chuseok vacation reflects an ancient fusion of  Buddhist and Shamanistic concepts overlaid by more recent Confucian reverence for one's ancestors.

Although Korea undoubtedly had its own versions of Divinity 1.0 and 2.0, little was known about western divinity until books by Portuguese Jesuit Matteo Ricci were brought over from Beijing in the early 1600s. However even then the Chinese translations  limited the Christian doctrine to a relatively small, wealthy, educated overclass. It was not until the 1780s, when the literature was re-printed in simplified Korean Hangul script, that Christianity became accessible to the masses.

After centuries of Buddhism and Confucianism which both reinforce rigid social hierarchies, with little upward mobility within the system, Christianity eventually started to win followers through its message that all men are equal under god and reward is ultimately based on effort and merit not birthright. Current figures suggest that among Koreans, 20% identify as Protestant, 8% as Catholic and 15% as Buddhist, leaving about 55% following  non-organised worship including shamanistic or Confucian rituals.

For those with faith, the stairway to heaven is, somewhat predictably, earned by putting in long and regular hours. Gentle inquiries show it is not unusual for a family to dedicate their entire Sunday to promoting church business. Given the lack of family time available during the week, this means that a devoted Christian family can regularly spend half the weekend (or half of its entire weekly family time) serving the church. This ardent presenteeism suggests that entry to the Afterlife may be controlled by a celestial Human Resources Dept. which values time-keeping over productivity in the same way that we see here in this life every day.

Robert De Niro as Louis Cyphre in Angel Heart:
"They say there's enough religion in the world to make men hate each other,
but not enough to make them love.
The future isn't what it used to be, Mr Angel."

   

Hiking in Korea - the Taoist answer to life, the universe and everything

One subject of traditional Chinese religious paintings is The Vinegar Tasters in which 3 men, representing Confucianism, Buddhism and Taoism together sample the taste of vinegar - a subtle allegory for life, no less.  The Confucian's face shows that he finds the taste unacceptably sour, the Buddhist's that he finds the taste disappointingly bitter while only the Taoist finds the taste agreeable.  

A modern version of the traditional Chinese illustration

The reactions of the Tasters illustrates the differences between the central tenets of Confucianism, Buddhism and Taoism.  Confucians find modern life sour; that is; spoiled, and sadly lacking compared with the higher standards of ancient times, heaven and the universe. They favour strict rules and veneration of ancestors to ensure that modern life exactly follows traditional values. By comparison Buddhists find modern life is full of distracting desires and illusions, the attempted attainment of which leads only to bitter disappointment and suffering. The solution is not to be seduced by the earthly 'world of dust' but to find peace in Nirvana - a state of No Wind. Meanwhile Taoists accept modern life as it is, enjoy it as much as possible and make what they can from it.  In short; when God gives you lemons, you should make lemonade.  

In Korea steep, wooded mountains cover as much as 70% of the country. Under these conditions, South Korea's distinctly Taoist response is to establish national parks all over the country, become a nation of mountain hikers and to get out there as often as possible.  

South Korea: more National Parks than you can shake a stick at.
Each mountain continuously bristles with the world's most fiercely accomplished hikers.

Foreigners are always impressed with the the serious dedication that Koreans commit to everything.  As with cycling, the nation's rival opiate, hiking commands only the very best, professional quality, purpose made equipment. A quick glimpse around any mountain top will quickly sort the wheat from the chaff.

Baegundae Peak (a modest 836m) overlooking north Seoul from Bukhansan National Park

Koreans are easily identified in this season's nature-with-neon themed body-glove attire which is simultaneously waterproof, wind proof, perspiration proof, self deodourising, erogenously stimulating and thermally self-regulating in weather conditions ranging from a broiling Venusian summer to an exceptional storm on Jupiter.  Note the full length sleeves (UV protection), full length length pants (protection from insects and thorns), perspiration-absorbent neck-scarfs, wide brimmed hats, shock-absorbing hiking poles, Everest-tested hiking boots with spare alpaca-fleece socks, NASA standard thermos flasks able to keep your beverage hot in the vacuum of space for 24 hours, 2kW LED flashlights to signal passing ships, airliners or satellites, intercontinental short-wave radios, geo-synchronous distress flares, bottled oxygen, all-weather tactile precision gloves, folding chairs, hammocks, wild boar repellent, thermally insulated ground mats, 127 function Swiss Army knife, tibia-fibia resetting/splinting kit, portable defibrillator, back-up power packs, two week's rations of gourmet fish-roe kimbap with tins of spam and bottles of makoli for back-up. Meanwhile foreigners are readily identifiable by their incongruous combinations of sandals, t-shirts, shorts, mirrored shades, unused tampon and whatever else they took to the pool yesterday.

Baegundae Peak: clothing aside, foreigners may also be identified by their belief that in an emergency they can spontaneously develop the power of wingless flight, therefore allowing them to perch on any precipice with impunity

For those hiking anywhere near the border with the Super Supreme Leader's People's Democratic Empire of New Nuclear North Korea, additional precautionary equipment includes Samsung-patented high visibility camouflage fatigues.  These incorporate bright luminous flecks woven into the standard military camouflage pattern to facilitate the rapid location and extraction of stray hikers from the DMZ by South Korean special forces while ensuring that the North Korean border patrols remain oblivious about their errant trekking.

Of course, whatever level of preparation you feel happy with, always remember that nothing is more important than timing. Nobody should be under the illusion that hiking in Korea is a good idea just because they feel like it. The chances are that if you feel like it, then virtually half the population may also be feeling like it. This is fine if you want the Costco-checkout-on-a-mountain-top experience, but otherwise think carefully about the right time to go.

The entrance to Chilgabsan Provincial Park
"I told you we should have gone to Costco"

Mother Nature overwhelmed - ultimately underwhelming

Of course today's gravitationally challenged sofa huggers and itinerant screenagers who are surgically connected to their keyboards may think that they are not up to climbing a mountain. Even if they can afford 3 month's rent for the correct equipment, perhaps they are not fit enough, they may not have the endurance or they can't find equally ruminant companions to trek with.  If this is you, then you can rest assured that no matter which trek you choose, climbing the actual mountain will be the easy part.  Invariably self-pity and shame will be the heaviest burdens which you will carry on the long and winding road to the summit.  

As you set out with a light heart and a spring in your step, you will feel buoyed by the large number of brightly coloured octogenarians and nonagenarians walking alongside. You give each of them a friendly nod, saying "Hi" and wishing them a great day on the mountain.  The camaraderie is welcome and comforting; after all, how hard can the climb be if these diminutive whisps can do it ? They weigh a little over 40kg, stand barely 150cm tall and the light can even be seen clear through their limbs when the sun is behind them. You barely notice how these sprites disappear around the curve ahead of you and then vanish entirely from view on the next stretch of the path.  

It is only after you complete the first third of the trek that you start to realise just how many of these old-timers have actually flitted past you already.  During the second third of the trek, you begin to hear your heart pounding in your ears and the blood slooshing through your carteroid artery; somewhere in your brain, something wants to pop.  Your legs feel like you have just returned to earth after 6 months in orbit.  Sweat trickles from your shoulder blades to the inside of your knees without stopping at your waistband.  Each breath feels like a gasp fought for on the scalding surface of Venus. You then wonder if you're hallucinating when the first group of these oldies reappear like phantoms in front of you, this time heading back down the mountain ! Yes, it's true they've done the peak and started heading down again while you're still only 2/3 of the way up.  Miraculously they haven't broken a sweat and none of them are even breathing heavy.  They recognise you too as you exchange pleasantries again before they give it to you right between the eyes; a look of condescending pity which says simply; "Hopeless Wretch".  It's an all-humbling moment when you realise that not only are you mortal, but you have been comprehensively routed, defeated and humiliated, kindly and politely by an opponent you were not even aware of.