Sunday 6 October 2019

A Dog's Life

Fairly or unfairly, many nationalities have acquired some fortunate or unfortunate reputations. 

The Germans love slow beer, fast cars and even faster sex.  The latter evidently also appeals to some foreign women who have been known to quite literally drag a German into a cupboard for a quick ravish; exchanging bodily fluids faster than most of us could exchange business cards.

Previously unseeded Russian model Angela Ermakova beat Boris Becker game, set and match plus child maintenance, custody and a personal sporting fortune of US$ 25m in a frenzied match lasting just 5 seconds
 - played in a broom cupboard no less.

https://www.ibtimes.co.uk/boris-beckers-five-second-sex-cupboard-has-cost-him-his-fortune-1627401


https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/germany/1445893/Becker-tells-of-his-night-of-torment-tears-and-five-second-sex-in-a-broom-cupboard.html



The Swedish, on the other hand, are smoking hot. 

Old Swedes: ABBA, hotter than ever with 380 million record sales and two successful Mama Mia musicals spanning a musical career which started in 1974 

New Swede: Elin Nordegren, formerly Mrs Tiger Woods;
settled for a mere US$20m per year of their 5 year marriage 

- while also proving herself proficient with a golf club when angered

Meanwhile an obsession with the weather has long been as indelibly British as the old, blue passports used to be. Many non-white British ruefully observe that the only way they can prove their Britishness when travelling abroad, is by ceaselessly wittering on about "... what a fine day it turned out to be ..." in whichever country they are visiting.  Such conversation can seem a little misplaced, for example, during the total lack of daylight in the depths of the Finnish winter, but this only serves to further reinforce the eccentric British identity. 





Despite leading the world in fields as diverse as home electronics, shipbuilding and nuclear reactors, most outsiders squeezed to comment on Korea will invariably reference eating dog meat. Mike Huckabee, the father of the routinely routed and publicly pilloried Whitehouse press secretary Sarah Huckabee, certainly didn't disguise his southern baptist sensitivities when declaring;


"I trust Bernie Sanders with my tax dollars like I trust a North Korean chef with my Labrador!"

Huckabee's political aspirations then ejaculated prematurely with clumsy justifications of his jokes such as;

"People manufacture their offenses. 
So even if there's nothing to be offended about, 
they can pretend that they're offended,
so that they can demand an apology, demand a retraction." 


https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/andrewkaczynski/huckabee-my-north-korea-dog-eating-joke-was-factual-obama-ad


Meanwhile, an ocean apart in distance, culture and humour, some Koreans are tiring of the dog-meat-eating stereotype; asking why the same practices, found more widely in China, India and South East Asia do not attract as much media attention as they do in Korea.

https://zenkimchi.com/commentary/2018-koreans-eating-dog-meat-meme-racist/

https://www.ranker.com/list/cultures-that-eat-dogs/laura-allan

Always remembering of course that back in Europe, the rationing of food after World War 2 left many people with no choice but to eat tabby and ginger "Roof Rabbits", as well as conventional floppy-eared bunnies, due to the dire shortage of meat which was available.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cat_meat


This summer Kim Basinger attended a rally in Seoul calling for an end to the eating of dog meat in Korea, highlighting the juxtaposition that dogs are increasingly popular companion pets throughout the country.


The actress Kim Basinger in Seoul in July 2019
- carrying a mock dog carcass to raise awareness about dog cruelty
https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.scmp.com/news/asia/east-asia/article/3018374/us-actress-kim-basinger-leads-protests-dog-meat-day-south-korea


Aside from the noble cause and the rare glimpse of celebrity, the event was also notable for the counter-demonstration held across the road where people defiantly exercised their right to eat dog meat by deliberately sitting down to eat generous portions of steamed mutt - with kimchi, naturally.


Many studies suggest that these days it is primarily Korea's old-timers who still have a taste for dog meat dishes.  Consumption is reportedly declining  by approx 20% - 30% each year with possibly as few as 20% of the population actually having eaten dog meat in the last year.  There are now estimated to be only ~300 dog meat restaurants remaining in Seoul with annual consumption across the country at less than a million dogs for a population of approx 50m people.  

However, some reports suggest a virtual renaissance in canine cuisine;

http://theseoultimes.com/ST/?url=/ST/db/read.php?idx=113

In reality the meat is tough, stringy, quite oily and not particularly tasty so youngsters have long since preferred almost anything but mutt. 


Boshintang: dog meat stew - not really embraced by the young generation

http://www.koreabiomed.com/news/articleView.html?idxno=257

In a country where the frequencies of dating, marriage and childbirth are reducing while the frequency of divorce (increasingly initiated by emasculated wives) is rising, dogs are indeed increasingly important as companion animals for many single people.

With over 90% of Koreans living in cities, many in high rise apartments of less than 30m2, small breeds such as Pomeranians weighing typically 4kg are the most popular. 

https://www.google.com/amp/mengnews.joins.com/amparticle/3064715

https://www.japantimes.co.jp/news/2013/09/17/asia-pacific/social-issues-asia-pacific/after-decades-of-growth-south-korea-is-now-a-land-full-of-apartments/#.XY1X2VMRU0M


Dust Mutt: for apartments dwellers, 'toy' dogs weighing just 4 or 5 kg are ideal for
cleaning dust from places which are difficult to reach - like under the coffee table

 A few years ago it was not unusual to see young couples pushing pampered poodles in dog strollers as they proudly cruised the malls at the weekend. Today many malls no longer insist on the use of strollers, allowing dogs to be walked on a leash, not only through the communal mall areas but actually inside the individual shops.  


No strollers required; dogs can now be walked through malls and shops

Indeed most malls have no shortage of pet shops, groomers and pet cafes where owners can leave their dogs to socialise for a few hours while the owners enjoy a quiet lunch.


Although apartment dwellers tend towards small pooches, there are notable exceptions, including a good friend who survived the best part of 3 years in a 130m2 apartment with 2 dogs weighing 40 to 50 kg each. The small confines of the apartment were a poor substitute for the wide open spaces which the dogs were accustomed to in Texas, so they obviously looked forward to their daybreak walks with unrestrained enthusiasm.  In his apartment block, many early mornings were punctuated by the blood-curdling shrieks of little old ladies who had been patiently waiting in front of the elevator, only to find themselves suddenly face-to-face with two panting, drooling, hell-hounds standing over a metre high, bursting from the opening doors. Reassurances that the dogs were daft, harmless and just wanted to play were ... unconvincing.


Sadly, for every dog being pampered, there are others barely eeking out a scared and miserable existence. 

https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/rspca-cruelty-statistics-dogs-most-abused-pet-uk_uk_56f1544be4b0fbd4fe08a272


One Sunday under the Mapo bridge I stopped to admire a beautifully groomed pedigree dog whose size seriously rivaled that of a small horse. Normally such a huge and powerful dog would have the confidence to walk untroubled through the tides of people moving calmly around him. Instead this dog was shy, nervous, walking close to his owner's legs and constantly looking up to his owner's face for reassurance. He was essentially a nervous wreck. The owner explained that the 83kg dog was now mostly rehabilitated, having been found 2 years earlier weighing a mere 13kg; chained, beaten, tortured, bald, diseased, unfed and crying in fear of every human who approached him. It was impossible to know how many years he had been kept captive in these conditions. Restoring his physical health had taken a long time; restoring his mental health would take much longer.


Sad as it was, I dismissed this as a rare case of extreme cruelty by an owner with a mental, social or criminal profile whose sadistic abuse of a captive victim somehow made him feel better about himself. However cruelty is certainly not limited to the underprivileged.  Two years later in an affluent subdivision of EunPyeong-gu, where successful businessmen commission architects to design their bespoke villas in the foothills of Bukhansan National Park, I walked past a 4 month old puppy, whining and shivering in heavily falling snow.  It was 9pm in the evening, the temperature had already dropped below -8°C and being the end of February, it was pitch-black dark with a bitterly cold wind. The puppy was patiently waiting outside the front door of a house while his humans ate, warm and cosy, in front of the TV.  The dog kennel they provided was already too small for the puppy and in any case the kennel door was closed, so it was impossible for the puppy to get inside for shelter.

When I asked my friend about this, he was unconcerned, explaining that Jindo dogs are famous for their tolerance of harsh conditions; they are bred and trained from an early age to endure discomfort and hardship - it builds strong senses of duty and loyalty which are important for guarding both the property and owners against intruders. However, this was no hardy breed of Jindo dog it was simply an unfortunate Golden Retriever puppy, bought by wealthy parents as a quick-fix-gift to satisfy their spoilt, sofa-slug son at Christmas.  Obviously nobody could be bothered to house-train the puppy so when they tired of him messing in the house they simply put him outside in a steel cage the size of a small coffee table and gave him bones twice a week - out of sight, out of mind. 


Beautiful bespoke family home with unwanted Christmas gift
- perpetually bored and ignored Golden Retriever 

In the 4 months which followed the puppy grew to completely fill his cage; he was never walked, played with, washed or groomed. When the family left the house or came home, the parents and the kid walked past the puppy like he was not even there. In the first few months, the puppy ran enthusiastically along the garden fence to greet passers-by; trying anything to establish some form of communication with someone. However after a few months the family did not like others befriending the dog so they locked him permanently in his cage.

"Better humans wanted - please apply"

On the rare occasions the cage was opened, the puppy walked lethargically, with head hung low between his shoulders, tail limp, eyes down. He was not even a year old but he had lost interest in everything. He was filthy outside and dead inside.  Ultimately, cruelty by neglect is little better than cruelty by abuse.  By June, before he could celebrate his first birthday, the puppy had disappeared altogether from the family home, not to be seen again.  

https://www.hsi.org/issues/dog-meat-trade/

Growing public awareness is gradually inspiring volunteer groups to organise support for a lucky minority of unwanted mutts.  Seoul's Itaewon has long been famous with foreigners for it's late night bars and early morning brawls.  Now on Sunday mornings, while some nurse their hangovers, others are nursing, grooming and pampering unwanted dogs in makeshift yellow tents erected on the pavement at the west end of Itaewon's main drag.   

Second chances : new homes for a lucky few thanks to time given by volunteers in Itaewon
The tents are only set up for the day, staffed by a small number of youngsters, to allow the dogs out of their cages, to play with each other, enjoy some face time with passers-by, have their chins tickled, their tummies rubbed, their ears fondled.  Most people stop for a few minutes to take a few photos before eventually moving on but importantly this gives the dogs the chance to meet caring humans in a safe environment and to enjoy some free hugs, perhaps some fleeting affection and just maybe it gives them a shot at finding a new home.