"I want THAT body", to which I absent-mindedly and evidently too-longingly replied;
"Oh yeah ... me too !".
I learned very quickly, that this was not only impolite, it was perhaps the Hiroshima of all faux-pas.
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| Guess who ? Some mistakes you only make once in life. |
Seasoned globetrotters soon learn that politeness is as much about expectation as it is about good behavior. What passes for basic manners in one country may not be given a moment's thought in others. Everyday examples such as holding the door for the person behind you, covering your mouth when sneezing or indeed closing your mouth while eating so your rapacious chomping cannot be heard on the next table are not universal standards which are observed in every country.
An old incident on the Seoul subway illustrates how confusing this can become when additional factors such as seniority and foreign status are added to the mix. One day a dashing young playboy from Perth was offered a seat on the subway by a frail old Korean gent. The veteran was at least twice the age of the playboy but was eager to demonstrate Korean politeness to foreigners. The playboy politely declined the seat; after all how could he indispose the generous older gent ? The gent offered again, the playboy declined again. By this stage the rebuff of the senior's kindness in front of his countrymen was becoming more impolite than a youth taking the seat of an old man - a subtle point lost on the foreigner. With a lightning-fast martial arts manoeuvre, the wizened old man recovered the situation by grasping the Aussie's wrist and spinning him round into the seat, then bowing deeply, smiling serenely and thanking the Aussie for accepting the seat. Korean politeness was demonstrated and the veteran's honour was preserved for everyone to see.
Handshaking
Back in 2013 Bill Gates was rightly or wrongly lambasted in the Korean media for not knowing how to shake hands correctly with the President of Korea
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/bill-gates/10011847/Bill-Gates-disrespects-South-Korean-president-with-casual-handshake.html
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| President Guen-Hye Park meets Bill Gates Handshaking in Korea is done with both hands and certainly NEVER with one hand in the pocket |
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| Handshaking: how it should be done |
Bowing
Naturally there are several degrees of bowing, depending on the circumstances.
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| Bowing Basics |
Here is a light-hearted explanation on which to do and when:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJLrEzpzpYA
Apologising
Of course bowing reaches its apogee in The Apology, for example when 3 banks fail to prevent the theft of bank account numbers, addresses, phone numbers, passport numbers, and credit ratings of approximately 20 million customers (just under half the population), including public figures and celebrities, then nothing short of deep and protracted bowing is required.
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| January 2014: CEOs of 3 national banks apologise and resign over thefts of credit card details |
So if there is such a thing as a standard for politeness then for those forms of politeness which are observed in Korea, then Koreans certainly achieve the gold standard. Don't despair if you hold the door open for the person behind you but they never hold it in turn for the person behind them. Quite simply this protocol is not recognised as good manners.
However when somebody gives you something in Korea, they will always pass it to you with both hands, to show politeness, not one hand which is rude. When your glass is empty, it will always be filled by the person next to you before you even ask. You will never have to fill your glass yourself.
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| PSY and Snoop Dogg in the video promo to 'Hangover' PSY refills SD's glass for him, with left hand covering the chest in formal respect |
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| "The future is bright, the future is Orange" |
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